10 Reasons Why Hockey Is Better Than Golf

As a follow-up to a question I was asked by Alan Bass during my interview for Bleacher Report, this is the Top 10 reasons why hockey is better than golf. Enjoy....

10. There are no goalies protecting the hole in golf... where's the challenge in that?

9. Any "sport" in which you can "compete" with another person in both an activity and a beer-drinking contest, is not a sport.

8. When a 12-year old girl and/or 65-year old grandfather can adequately keep pace with a well-conditioned male in his early 20's in a "sporting event", the word "sport" should not even be considered in the activity description.

7. Hockey players are taught strategies such as trapping, dump-and-chase, backchecking, and forechecking. In golf, you hit a ball, you chase it, then you hit it again. Joke.

6. In hockey, a shot is taken and immediately 10 well-conditioned athletes race for the loose puck. In golf, an overweight, beer-guzzling, school teacher in his late 50's strolls through some grass to hunt it down, or just hops in his cart and pushes the gas pedal.

5. When was the last time you saw "golfer #1" throw a solid shoulder check into "golfer #2" on the way to the 18th green because "golfer #2" slashed "golfer #1's" teammate in the back of the leg on the way to the clubhouse?

Heyyyy, what'd you do that for, meany

4. In golf, the crowd is discouraged from making any noise during a players' shot. In hockey, the crowd noise is equivalent to placing your ear against the two 18-inch subwoofers under your best friends' car seat.

3. In order to play golf, you really only need to have two arms and be able to walk and/or drive a cart. Try strapping on a pair of skates without ever having skated before...

2. I'd like to see Vijay Singh stand toe-to-toe with Laraque, Parros, Boogard, or Chara.

1. In hockey, "dump and chase" is a play that requires signifcant skill and movement. In golf, it requires a fresh roll of toilet paper and a cart to flee the scene.

So, before Tiger Woods decides to say that he "doesn't think anyone watches hockey", perhaps he should consider that he is a golfer, and being a golfer is a far cry from being an athlete.

Time to change the diaper.....FORE!